The Tofu Diaries
by lillipuppy
Summary: Love means going to animal rights rallies with your pretentious boyfriend and suffering through meat jokes.


"You're kidding, right?"

"I'm not." N replied, shaking his head. "I've never eaten meat in my entire life."

Bianca snickered at the innuendo over her McCombees hamburger. Cheren's stomach shivered in jealousy.

"N has been vegetarian his whole life," he explained. "Raised that way and everythi-"

"-Vegan." N corrected, with a childish smile, like this was the proudest accomplishment of his existence. Cheren wasn't sure whether to find the cheerful, proud face of his boyfriend adorable or utterly disgusting.

"But... how do you get protein?" She asked, honestly curious.

N seemed open to the discussion, at least, something Cheren didn't see that much in the other vegans N had introduced him to. "There are sources of plant protein," he informed her, "But I will say that I'm not a very good vegan, by some standards. I'll gladly eat eggs and milk when I know they're from well-raised animals, given good treatment. Small farms and all. I eat a lot of local dairy - and vegetables, of course, as well. Local food is much better for the planet overall, but I'm most concerned about livestock."

Bianca gave Cheren a look over her milkshake. It said _he's cute, but a little bit pretentious, isn't he? _Best friends had that kind of communication, that magic ability to ask with their eyes if someone was bullshit.

Cheren gave her the look back that said something along the lines of _he's__so__ pretentious__, you don't even know..._

Bianca quickly assumed he was good in bed and moved on.

"I see. That's... really moral of you, Natural."

"Please, call me N."

Bianca nodded gratefully. Calling a vegan 'Natural' all the time would have killed even her sweet and hardy soul.

"Is local food more tasty, N? I mean, it sounds like it'd be fresher..." She said causally.

"Oh, they're absolutely better! Ask Cheren."

Bianca blinked. "Cheren?"

N nodded. "Yes, he's been eating with me the past few weeks. Since he's already over at my house all the time, you know."

Bianca giggled girlishly at the implication of nights spent alone. "A-ah, I see! Is it good, Cheren?"

The disgruntled biology major at this point wanted nothing more than to tell the truth. The whole awful truth. He loved N, of course. He wanted him to be happy, and the moral implications N brought up were totally valid and reasonable, even if Cheren was still unsure of his own feelings on the matter. And sure, N's preparations of salads were decent enough, and he could make a mean felafel. Everything he was served tasted good, and he wasn't wanting for nutrition -

But he really, _really_ missed meat. If he was a baser man, he'd have been drooling all over Bianca's hamburger right now like a teenage boy over a celebrity's breasts.

"Y-yeah," he muttered, voice a little too shrill for his liking. "Yeah. N's a great cook, and tofu... is different than I expected."

(If by different, you mean "weird sponges of soy with no inherent flavor.")

"Huh." Bianca said, noticing none of her childhood friend's distress. "So the animals are treated better, not killed, and it tastes better too? I-it's not super expensive, is it?" (N shook his head. Cheren wondered if Bianca realized N had a rich father and a diamond credit card.) "Maybe I'll try it too, then! At least for a while, anyway. Where would I go to get this neat-o local food then, anyway?"

N seemed to totally perk up at this, like a puppy. A puppy that had never had someone pay naive and honest attention to it's personal life agenda in it's short, canine lifespan.

"Oh! If that's the case," he said, bouncing in his seat a little like a child. "If that's the case, you should come with us today to the farmer's market! There's even a small rally going on today, to support better treatment of animals - you could find a lot of information there, I bet! Cheren, you don't mind if Bianca comes along, do you?" His eyes gleamed in excitement.

It was the most adorable thing Cheren had seen this week. He smiled back at him. "Of course not. More the merrier." N cheered gleefully and gave him a passionate kiss on the lips, something Cheren just couldn't resist, PDA or not.

"Ooh, this is so going on Pokebook," Bianca murmured, rummaging through her purse for her camera phone.

The farmer's market, on a normal day, was a place Cheren almost enjoyed. Sure, it meant a long and repetitious rant from N about how certain agricultural issues Cheren knew far more about influenced his buying behaviors, but it also meant time out with his boyfriend. With N, even grocery shopping in high white tents full of "hillbillies" (as Cheren's dad would say) and "darned hippies" (as Bianca's dad would say - about Cheren's dad, usually) was fun.

Today, however, such was no such treat. The market was loud and crowded with strangers.

_Sweaty_ strangers.

"Looks like a good turnout," N remarked idly, looking around with a cheery grin. Bianca inched closer to Cheren, shrinking rapidly, while the student himself gritted his teeth at the humid air.

"I've never seen it so busy." Cheren said, looking around the square. "I've never seen some of these people, either." The sellers flitted around, trying to support the crowd, cheeks flushed in the summer heat.

N giggled conspiratorially. "I guess people just really care about animals around here!" Cheren opened his mouth to make a comment that would likely delegate him to the couch, but was gracefully interrupted by the approach of one particular senior with a clipboard.

"Ah, there you are!" Shauntal said, running up to the group with an enthusiastic grin. "It's packed, huh? The numbers were looking low, so I made a blog post like you suggested. It was super successful!"

Cheren sighed, but N seemed nothing more than 100% pleased. "The internet is _amazing_!" he cheered.

Bianca smiled at the familiar face and let go of Cheren's shirt. "I didn't know there were so many activists in town..."

"It _is_ a college town." Cheren pointed out.

"In towns like this, people understand the importance of such things as the fair treatment of animals and the anti-BigAgri movement. Academics are the subject of the soul."

Shauntal gave an awkward giggle. "Well, I kinda pimped this out... People are here from all over the state. And even outside of it."

There was a small pause.

"We live in a cruel world," N remarked coldly.

Cheren gave N a squeeze on the shoulder. "Don't give up on it just yet."

"Anyway," Shauntal said, clearing the air with a few flaps of her wrist. "There's a poster creation station over near the squash stand. They've got markers and cardboard. No exactoknives this time." (Bianca visibly winced at the reminder of what happened at the clean energy rally.) "You should make some!"

Bianca bounced a little. "That sounds like fun! I love making posters."

"I'll help you, Bianca. For slogans and awareness messages." He looked to his boyfriend. "What about you, Cheren?"

Cheren looked around at the crowd, in their loose tank tops and funny hats. He spotted a bit of tye-dye in the mix and shivered. This was _far_ from his crowd. How could N stand these folks? They seemed straight out of an Urban Dictionary definition. And the signs - oh god, the signs! He didn't know much about design, but they were so mindbogglingly crowded and amateurishly done. He could barely read them from this distance because the colors were too faded, and his (corrected) vision was excellent.

"I think I'll go get the groceries." He said, gesturing to the shop tents. "You go ahead, alright?"

Bianca quivered briefly, but Shauntal wrapped an arm around her and dragged her in closer. "Excellent! You're an education major, right Bianca? You'll be great at this. We need people like you..." she continued as she pulled the young girl along, chatting amicably about simple language and proper use of school supplies. N looked at Cheren with some concern.

"Sure you'll be okay on your own, Cheren?" He said. "There's a lot of people here."

Cheren smiled softly. "It'll be fine. Lines are short everywhere but the vegan concession truck."

"Even if they're strangers?"

"Yes."

"Even if you're still a newbie to the finer details of vegetable picking?"

A small chuckle. "I'm getting there, aren't I?" Cheren said. N made a rare, forced show of jest, looking to the ground, in an attempt to look worried while still containing his laughter.

"I-I suppose," he bluffed. "Well, if you're sure-" (snortgiggle) "- then go ahead. I'll make more posters, okay?"

"Alright. Have fun, N."

Cheren walked away, a warm smile on his face.

(He appreciated the attempt, at least.)

The groceries were, for the most part, easy enough to acquire. As more and more people gathered to the center (where, eventually, a short speech was given, some riotous shouting was raised, and hushed 20 minutes later) the lines went from short to nonexistent, allowing Cheren to politely converse and occasionally haggle with the farmers selling their wares. The list, as usual, was simple enough: some fresh bread (sourdough, since Cheren was choosing) tomatoes, zucchini, spaghetti squash, basil... a few fruits, for a pie... eggs... raw milk, some butter...

His stomach growled. Or maybe not so simple, since he hadn't actually eaten anything. He knew N didn't like McCombees' business, so he had resisted.

And now the consequences were gnawing at his insides.

"_Shit_." He murmured, shifting awkwardly and throwing the bag of apples over his ther shoulder. At very least there was only one more stop. Maybe after that he could dump the groceries on N and head home for some leftover vegeburger.

Just one more stop, he told himself, moving forward, the pasta shop in sight...

"Jam, son?"

Cheren stopped. A burly man in cowboy attire smiled at him and waved slightly.

"Names Clay. 've got some jam here if you're looking for that. Best in the market, swear et. Salsa too. Dips. Seasonings." Cheren eyed the goods, but found a sad lack of samples. He opened his mouth to say 'no thanks' when the man said the magic word.

"Jerky."

"Jerky?!"

Cheren's exuberance nearly made the shopkeeper jump. "Yeah, jerky," he said, chuckling and rustling under the table. "Got a whole lot. Mostly different types o' beef, but there's some buffalo, if you're willing to pay a bit more. Do you want some?"

His mouth watered at the thought. Meat. Sweet, sweet forbidden protein. Taboo animal muscle, cooked hard and seasoned savory (or savory-sweet, if he had teriyaki)... It'd been months. Cheren couldn't move his legs, and his stomach groaned in anticipation, wanting so desperately to dissolve and make into fuel that awful, wonderful flesh.

"I'll buy some- uh. Original."

"Good choice, boy! Quarter pound, half pound, pound?"

Cheren shuttered. "Fu-no, Half pound. Yeah."

"That'll be $8, boy."

Ca-_ching_.

The activity before him had N grinning like a schoolboy, filled with optimistic enthusiasm for humanity and it's morals. All these people, gathered here from the tristate area with their magic marker signs, fighting for what they believed! For what HE believed! It was enough to bring a warmth to any activists heart.

However, now that the rally was well under way, he was pretty ready to go home. Not to be a party pooper, but there were enough people that he wasn't needed anymore, and he was getting hungry. Cheren, he figured, would be done with the shopping by now, and they could go back and make his favorite quick meal for tired nights like this; grilled zucchini and some of the weekend's leftover organic pasta, with some feta and olive oil for freshness.

The thought making his mouth water the slightest bit, he nodded his goodbyes to Shauntal and walked off to find his loyal boyfriend.

As the sun began to set, the market deflated with it's stalls, despite the (slowing, but still continuing) bustle of the rally. N strained his eyes, trying to find Cheren in the sparse scenery. He seemed to be nowhere. Not at any stall, not with Bianca... not by the fountain - A flash of navy caught his eye and he ran towards it at the benches.

"Cheren! Cheren, I have finished now, would you like to go ho-"

Cheren jumped at the noise, and for a moment N wondered if he had run up to the wrong person. Hoping to apologize, he came closer. Cheren looked highly despondent, bits of dried meat on his cheek and between two of his teeth.

"Uhh- N! Nice to see you..." Cheren said, guilty shame flooding his cheeks. "I was, uh, just..." He followed N's gaze down to the bag of clearly labeled 'Clay's Jerky' and promptly squeaked. N picked up the half-empty bag and began examining it closely, no identifiable expression on his face. Cheren began to blabber in panic.

"I'm so sorry I just haven't had meat in months and I missed it I won't do it again it was just tempting me that shit's like succubus I swear I won't do it again I'll be better I know I've been a bad vegan-"

"Vegetarian." N said finally, not looking from the label.

"What?"

"You've been eating a vegetarian diet, not a vegan one. Ovo-lacto vegetarian, to be specific."

"I-" Cheren felt his eyes sting. Oh _Arceus_ this was a stupid reason to cry, _why was he crying-_

N set the bag next to him and then sat down next to Cheren, taking his hand. "There's no reason to panic, Cheren. I'm not sure why you're so upset."

He jerked up to look at his boyfriend. "But... it's meat... I bought and ate meat! Everything you said was bad! I ate bloodmouth flesh, oh my _god-"_

N shook his head and held up the bag. "No, not from Clay. He's well known - well-treated cows, free-range, very humane and green all around. I order milk from him when I can, though it's a pain since he doesn't sell it at our market..."

"But-" Cheren could feel them now, the stupid stubborn tears. "- You, and, meat, and, I..."

"I never said you had to eat the same way I did, Cheren. I certainly encouraged it. " He said, smiling. "But your diet is your own. And if you'd like to eat beef, Clay is the best person in this area to get it from. He's an excellent rancher."

Cheren felt a balloon deflate in his chest. "You mean... I can eat jerky?"

"Yes Cheren, you may eat jerky."

"I'm not going to be haunted by the spirit of maltreated cows?"

N had to stop to burst into contained giggles. Cheren groaned and wiped his foggy glasses. He had gotten far more worked up about such a dumb thing that he should have, and was already regretting it.

"If that's the case," he said, voice trembling from his near brush with crying, "why don't you eat some, N? There's some still leftover."

N snapped to attention at the suggestion.

Cheren was pleased at the confused and mild betrayal on N's face. The power balance was restored, and now he was, again, the one teasing his cute ovo-lacto boyfriend, not the other way around. Life was back to normal. With the collective biting sarcasm of this whole afternoon piling up, he delivered his crucial line;

"Or, would you say you're too... chicken?"

The green-haired student was still, stone-faced. He looked Cheren straight in the eye as he stood up.

"You don't talk like that about chickens, Cheren. You're getting no meat tonight from me." With that, N turned on his heel and began walking in the direction of home.

"Wha- what? N, I was joking! It was just a joke, you know how I am, I..."

As Cheren followed him, blabbering in his way, N giggled like a prankster under his breath, and celebrated his well-executed bluff.


End file.
